Things Don’t Always Go According to Plan

Well, last week didn’t exactly go according to plan.

I found out on Thursday that my grandmother unexpectedly passed away. To say I am sad is an understatement. My grandmother was one of the best people on Earth. Ask anyone who knew her, and they’d say she was a saint.

She always had a smile on her face.
She was so caring and thoughtful.
She always knew what was going on in your life from the last time you talked on the phone.
She never missed a birthday, even with 24 grandchildren and 35 great-grandchildren.
She sent her famous Christmas cookies to us, even when we lived in Texas.

Every family has their ups and downs. In regards to my immediate family, we’ve had a lot of downs. I’ve talked about it before, but it’s not something I really want to dwell on today. (I’ve dwelled on it enough in the last few days.) My grandma always remained resilient and helpful throughout all the trials and heartache we’ve suffered through with my dad. Her passing was difficult for me in many ways. Not only for the family to have lost such an incredible person, but because of what this might mean for other people in my life. Maybe it’s selfish, I don’t know. But it’s how I feel.

It also makes me sad that because of all my ‘family drama,’ I chose not to make it home very often. I had only seen Grandma a handful of times in the last four years. But I don’t want to live with any guilt from that. I know Grandma, and the rest of my family, understands why my trips back home were few and far between.

I feel better today than last week. The best thing for me to do is keep moving forward. Not only will I continue to focus on my own happiness, but I’ll try to better instill in myself the good virtues that my grandmother showed to us all by example. I will also smile and eat cookies, because I think that’s what Grandma would have wanted. 🙂

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